Everything I Didn't Say
by 2-huge-tiva-shippers-and-mary
Summary: AU. Less than a decade has passed and he still thinks of her. One night he decides to stop that stupid tradition and pic up the phone and call her and tell he everything he didn't say. So he pics up the phone today because tomorrow may be a little to late. Full summary inside.


**A/N: Hello my lovely readers! Happy New year and Merry Christmas, I wish you have lots and lots of happiness, health, wealth, success, motivation, inspiration, clear skin and emotional stability! I also hope that all of your ships become cannon!**

 **This is my first time writing a AOS fanfiction so please be kin! I am also very sorry for all the mistakes that you find.**

 **Lastly I would like to thank my best friend Flor for proof reading it (I promise that it was way worse before she got her hands on it!), and for giving me the idea to write it in the first place!**

 **Disclaimer: Agents of SHIELD belongs to ABC and Marvel, because if it belonged to, Ward's arc would have been much different.**

 **Anywaysssss,**

 **Enjoy!**

Summary: Time flies, people come and go, but in the end you realise who mattered the most. However it's too late to go back and fix everything. She has moved on, has started a family of her own and loves a man who truly deserves her. However, you have to give it chance. Try and explain yourself, give her an explanation and an apology so that you can move on. So you pick up the phone, dial her number and tell her everything you didn't. You do it, because for what you know tomorrow may be too late.(AU Set 10 years in the future, where Daisy has moved on and Ward hasn't.)

 _Whoa, whoa  
This is everything I didn't say_

 _Wait, don't tell me, heaven is a place on earth  
I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't  
Show you what you're really worth  
The way, you held me, I wish that I had put you first I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss  
While you were slipping through my fingertips_

 _Taking every breath away  
With all of the mistakes I made  
From all the letters that I saved This is everything I didn't say  
I wish I could've made you stay  
And I'm the only one to blame  
I know that it's a little too late  
This is everything I didn't say_

 _Whoa, whoa This is everything I didn't say_

 _Wake me up now, and tell me this is all a bad dream  
All the songs that I wrote, all the wrongs that I hoped would erase from your memory_

 _Holding onto a broken and empty heart_ _  
_ _Flowers I should've bought, all the hours I lost  
Wish I could bring it back to the start_

 _Taking every breath away  
With all of the mistakes I made  
From all the letters that I saved  
This is everything I didn't say I wish I could've made you stay  
And I'm the only one to blame  
I know that it's a little too late  
This is everything I didn't say_

 _I hope you know, for you I'd sacrifice  
To make this right, whoa whoa  
Someday, I'm sure  
We'll pass each other by  
Until that time_

 _Taking every breath away  
With all of the mistakes I made  
From all the letters that I saved  
This is everything I didn't say I wish I could've made you stay  
And I'm the only one to blame  
I know that it's a little too late  
This is everything I didn't say_

 _Whoa, whoa_ _ **This is everything I didn't say**_

He was the Deputy Director of Hydra. A strong and powerful man. The man who had built Hydra up from the beginning and had made it once again a strong and fearful empire. Everyone looked up to him. Every single one of his agents aspired to be as dauntless as him.

Aside from being a respected person in front of his agents' eyes and having everything a person could ever desire, being the head of Hydra wasn't as fun as it used to be. It was fun at first, but he got older ... he couldn't fight as well as he used to nor take part to any of the operations that they were running.

Now he was sitting in his big office doing paperwork, as usual. Never in a million years would he had thought that come ten years, he would be sitting behind a desk doing meaningless paperwork. He had been trained as a specialist for crying out loud.

But other than that, he was alone. He didn't have anyone that he could trust nor open up. Sometimes he missed the team. Sure it might have just been his job to get along with them, but as the months pasted, he actually felt like he was at home. They were the few people that actually liked him. Colson the father figure he never had; May the one he could relate the most; Fitzsimmons the two annoying, know-it-all but actually cute and funny twins; and Skye, the adopted child that could pass that emotionless big tough guy exterior. They took him in and he betrayed them in the worst way possible.

The moment when he shot agent Hand was the moment that everything collapsed. He could have shot Garret and put an end in all of this, but he didn't, he couldn't bring himself to do that. He became untrustworthy to the people that he trusted the most, to the people who had blindly trusted him. Which for him was a big thing, as he had always felt like no one ever cared for him, especially not his family.

He was the middle child of a much respected family. Religious, wealthy and well known around the most powerful circles. They had 3 well rounded sons. Everyone envied them, because they were a perfect family ... _right?_

 _But had they been any more wrong._

Christian, their eldest son had been his parents' only pride. _'Tall, dark, good looking, sharp, mischievous, sneaky, the definition of evil'_ was how Ward would describe him. He would do anything that stimulated him. Even harming his youngest brother, Tommy, which he would always blame on Ward. That was how he had gotten into this big mess anyway.

Ward would always defend his little brother at all costs. At everything that Christian would do to Tommy, Ward world be there to help him.

 _Except maybe once._

Again their parents had been at work. So Ward had been left alone with his manipulative older brother and Tommy.

Everything had happened so fast that Ward was unable to recall how it all began. Christian had thrown Tommy down the well and had told Ward to not help him or else he would be next. And being the coward he had been back then, he didn't help him. Instead, he had just stood there watching his little brother drowning, screaming, and begging him for help.

After that everything had gone downhill. He had burned his parents' house, making sure though that Tom wouldn't get hurt again.

After that he had been send to Juvie, where he had met Garret and the rest, was, as they say, history. For Ward, Christian was the number one reason why living happily would never be possible for him.

 _Or maybe once..._

The room was dark, but the small lamp on the desk provided him with enough light to be able read the reports he was going over. He looked at the clock. The blue neon numbers read past midnight. He signed, closed the file and loosened his tie. He stood and made his way to the mini bar on the far corner of the office. It was filled with high class alcohol that had survived centuries. One of the many perks of running a _'secret'_ agency.

He took a bottle of Bourbon and poured some into a small glass. He leaned on the cabinet and took a sip from the very expensive drink.

He didn't even put his lips on the glass when the phone rang. He wasn't in the mood to argue with anyone at this time, yet he made his way to his desk. The caller ID was blocked, he answered it anyway.

"Ward."

'Hello... from the other side." The caller's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Fitz?" Ward asked confused. The last time they had last talked to each other was years ago, when he had kidnapped him and Simmons, to get them to open the portal. Things had gotten out of hand, Simmons had been injured and Fitz had used some strong words to describe him.

"That's me. The guy you threw off a plane and into the middle of the ocean. Does that bring up any memories? " This time around, Fitz' voice was filled with bitterness.

"Why are you calling me?" Ward decided to forgo replying but chose to ask him a question.

"It's about Daisy," Fitz replied.

The sound of her name caused his back to straighten and the fingers that were still wrapped around the glass of Bourbon, to tighten. Fitz now held every last bit of his attention.

"She's getting' married," he stated without feeling guilt about what he was doing to the man on the other side of the line.

Ward unconsciously squeezed the glass, causing it to brake. The small pieces of glass cut into his palm, before dropping on the floor. The amber liquid burned the wounds before trailing down to the floor, but he was immune to all the physical pain.

Unfortunately, he wasn't immune to the emotional pain that had poisoned what little was left of his broken heart, as soon as Fitz uttered those four words.

Skye. Daisy now, moving on had always been on the very back of his mind, but he had refused to acknowledge it. But now it more than a mere possibility, it was a cold hard fact and there was nothing he could do about it.

"A week from now, in Japan," Fitz added. Ward remained silent, still processing the information that he had received, and kept receiving.

"Just thought that I should let you know," Fitz continued. _"Just wanted to remind you that good things don't happen to bad people_. _"_ And then the line went dead. As did the last bit of Ward's resolve. He threw the phone against the opposite wall and a scream was ripped from his throat.

He was in denial. Maybe Fitz was lying to him... but no matter how much Fitz hated him, he would never lie to him about something that mattered so much to him.

Either way, he needed to know. Brushing the glass that had pierced his skin off, he sat behind his desk, he opened his laptop and started his research.

 ** _Voicemail_**

"Hi Skye, I mean Daisy. It's been almost a decade since you changed your name but I still can't get used to it. Maybe because I haven't gotten the opportunity to call you that often." He began.

"Anyway, I do believe congratulations are in order. You looked stunning in that dress by the way. It did very little to cover your baby bump. I met her after she was born, your daughter. She was a little copy of you, so perfect." He said but he regretted saying those words instantly.

"I think that the three of you will live a wonderful life together, making each other happy... _just like you made me happy_ ," he wandered off.

"Maybe ever more that happy...I don't know how to explain it but every time I looked into your eyes I saw something that I later came to realise was the word _almost_. **_Almost_** _._ " He repeated then chuckled

"A strange word isn't it? We never really realise the pain and suffering that comes with it. It never occurred to me, the amount of hearts that have been broken by that simple word," he chuckled and took a sip of his bourbon, remembering everything in his life that almost took the right turn.

"Did you know that I _almost_ left Hydra for you. Because I fell in love with you. We were so close to the finish line, but I tripped and you carried on. We were almost there," he said, putting emphasis on the word 'almost', the hand that was holding onto the cell phone, curling tightly around the device.

 _"_ _I've spent so many sleepless nights wishing to go back to where we started._ Back when things were actually going well. You have no idea how many times I wished to go back in time and make things right. Go against Garrett and Hydra, follow my heart."

"And even though life has given me so many chances to make things right I messed up every single one of them."

"I soon realised that I never actually showed you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I was all words and very few actions. I shouldn't have let the thing between us develop, since deep down I always knew that it would never work out in the end. But I was selfish, oh so selfish and I thought that I could get to know how being with you felt, without any of the consequences."

"But then those damn consequences, combined with my stupid decisions came knocking, and you slipped right through of my fingers. By the time I realised what had happened, what I had done, it was too late because you were already gone."

"So now after 10 years I decided to swallow my pride and everything that was holding me back calling you and explaining myself."

 _"_ _I should have made you stay._ I should have offered a better explanation of the reasons behind my actions. It's too late, but I'm going to offer an explanation right now. It was never the belief in the ideology of Hydra or the need for power. It was the need to feel that I belonged somewhere. I never had a father figure and when Garret came... I was young and alone. What was I going to do? He offered me a chance to get out of there and be something better and I took it. Finally, there was someone on this planer who though that I could make something of myself. For once someone though that I was worth something and that I belonged somewhere. And I know that this doesn't justify my actions and I know that _I'm the only one to blame_ for my actions, and that it's too late to apologise but like I said before, I had to explain."

He drowned the remaining liquid from the glass. Tears were running down his face but he didn't bother to wipe them away. He didn't have to. It was not like someone was going to give him a hard time for letting his emotions shine through.

"You have no idea how bad I want to wake up from this nightmare. To wake up next to you. I want to erase every wrong thing that I've ever done and just go back to the beginning. _Go back to the moment we met_ , at the back of your van."

 _"_ _I would sacrifice everything_ that I have for you. For your forgiveness, for one last kiss, touch or smile... _I would give it all away_."

"I think that this is officially the last time that I will ever talk to you so allow me to say this one last thing; I am sorry for all the pain that I've caused you. I never wanted for things to end this way... _I love you_ Skye and always will ** _. And I know that it's a little too late, but this is everything I didn't say."_**

 **~End of Voicemail**

Daisy didn't say a word one single word in reply. She let his voice fade away and a tear dropped down her cheek.

 _Dear God._

She hadn't heard his voice in ages.

It still managed to make her feel weak... _vulnerable_.

Daisy placed her phone on the night stand and then proceeded to sit on her bed, staring at her wedding ring. She had been so excited when Lincoln had proposed. He made her happy and made her forget about Ward. She fell in love and felt safe again after a long time.

Together, they planned on having children and growing old together. The first half of the plan had been completed, now they had to wait and see if the bad guys could let me complete the second part as well.

Daisy thought of their daughter, Addison, whom Lincoln was in the middle of putting to bed. He was way a natural at the whole being-a-parent thing than she was. She loved being a mother, but she struggled more with it than Lincoln.

They were a perfect little happy family. Her perfect little happy family but he came back into her life, bringing back emotions and memories that she had tried very hard to bury and make sure that they stay hidden. Who had given him the right to do so!

"I fed her and put her to bed," Lincoln said as he entered their shared bedroom, putting a stop to Daisy's train of thoughts.

"She was lost in her dreams the moment I put her down," he added from behind the closed door of the en suite bathroom.

The tears that she had been holding back since the one sided phone conversation with Ward had begun, broke free, accompanied by a series of sobs.

She stood up from the bed, turned her back to the bathroom door and brushed of her tears. "Love, you ok?" he asked, once he noticed the combination of a lack of reply about what their daughter might be dreaming about and the sob like sounds reached his ears. Quickly pulling a clean t-shirt on, he stepped out of the bathroom.

Another sob escaped her mouth and Lincoln sprinted to the bed. Getting in, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and prepped kisses on the side of her head, something that he knew always calmed her down. This time around though, it didn't work and instead she started crying harder.

"Daisy?"

Her answer was to snake her arms around his torso and bury her face in his neck.

 _"_ Just hold me tight."

 _"Always_ ," he promised, stroking her hair.

 **Well what did you all think? Loved it, hate it? Le me know.**

 **thanks for reading!**

 **Love**

 **~Milica**


End file.
